I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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