Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
