You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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