Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
