Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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