After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
