Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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