what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
