Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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