So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
