I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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