OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
