i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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