bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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