And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
