The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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