Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
