I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
