I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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