i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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