ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My vagina just clenched in fear
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
