fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
