I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
