Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize