YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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