More tranny stories later!
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
