there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
