i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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