I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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