Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
