It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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