I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
