dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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