no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
