it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
