he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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