yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
