I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
