i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
