sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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