it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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