my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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