why didn't you poke me back
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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