a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
