is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
