I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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