is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
