like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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