What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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