Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
