im six kinds of drunk right now
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
