Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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