I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
