Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
