11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
