actually, I'm a sock model
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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