Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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