Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize