for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
