had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize