I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
