he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
And then he peed in my hair
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