id be glad to
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize