Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
