You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
