I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
smell my finger.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
