I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize