i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize