I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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