Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
